There are oh so many changes I envision. I daydream about them all the time. Going from no children to four children is mind-boggling to say the least. Here are the questions I most frequently think about:
- How will I grocery shop?
What kind of large¯ vehicle will work best?
- Do I home school, private school, or public school them—which would be better for language acquisition, self-esteem, and overall adjustment?
- What if they don’t attach to one or both of us?
How will I adjust to staying home all day: making lunches, helping with homework, playing chauffer, etc?
What if I’m not good enough?
How do I develop my children spiritually?
Will my husband love me the same?
Let’s be honest, this is not going to be easy. But I live by one mantra, ¯one that I impose upon my students every year: “For everything of value, there is always a price to pay.”¯ If it was hard, it wouldn’t be worth it. I look forward to all the worries on the list. I mostly look forward to having the worries, I know that sounds odd, but anyone who wants desperately to be a parent understands it. I also look forward to problem-solving the worries with my husband.
I do think about how our lives as a couple will change because we know it will. But I don’t think that has to mean we’ll have less time for each other. We just have to work on a schedule that benefits our entire family. The greatest asset Adam and I bring to this adoption is our strength and flexibility as a couple. Even in our darkest hours of fertility, we could laugh through the tears and figure out what to do next. I’ve never once felt paralyzed by our heart-wrenching challenges. That’s how I know For Sure that this is going to work out, and be wonderful.\