A few different things have happened this week. Colombia recently changed it’s referral policy allowing those of us non-Colombians who are adopting sibling groups and/or special needs children to be treated as Colombians. This means our dossier (paperwork) once in Colombia will be expedited and we will receive travel authorization 2-3 months ahead of schedule!!!!!!!!!

And if that’s not enough amazing news, our caseworker is currently in Colombia and met with CRAN (the authority/agency in which we will get our kids from)…they are aware of us and are anxious to get our paperwork in their hands. They said the kids are ready to go and they are anxious to get them permanently places. This will ensure the paperwork is expedited.

Wow, can you believe it? We could be there anywhere between April and June. This is much different than the previous timeline of August-October. A few months probably doesn’t seem like much of a difference, but for us it is HUGE. Adam won’t be back at work full-time as we previously planned. This means thousands of extra dollars we thought we would have before travel. We Can and Will make it work with the help of family and EBay.

This also means I will go straight to Colombia before moving back to Las Vegas. Luckily, mom-in-law, Debbi, has two extra bedrooms we can use when we return with the children while we search for a rental house. We’ll also need a vehicle that holds at least six people. Hopefully, mom, Cathy, is still willing to let us swap her Pilot for the truck for a few months….right, mom? Not like she hasn’t done enough already or anything. :)

Some of you wonderful friends have asked what you can do? Now’s the time. We need clothes, shoes, bedding, booster seats….you know, all the stuff you put in boxes thinking you’ll take to Goodwill someday. If you know anyone who has any of these items and is looking to get rid of them….we’re your people. Our boys will be 8 and 5, our girls will be 7 and 6 when they come home. All four children seem to be average size from the picture we have. I can’t post the pic for another six weeks or so, but I can email it to you privately if you need some idea of size.

Adam’s sister and our friends, The DeMarcos, each have a set of bunkbeds they are giving us. I believe they are both singles on the bottom and top, but I will double check. Bedding isn’t terribly expensive, but if you are looking to downsize let us know.

That’s all for now. We are super excited and gearing up in the next couple of months to prepare to travel. We appreciate everyone’s support and prayers. The kids all have birthdays between now and June. I was afraid Daniel would be almost nine when we actually picked him up. This means he’ll barely be eight….this is a big difference developmentally and all. Juan will barely be five. Ooohhhh, I’m getting goose-bumps thinking about teaching them and loving them and snuggling with them.

Just a picture of our favorite and fabulous ‘traveling notary’ Wendy schmoozing with Dr. Welter. We had to get two doctor’s notes per each of us notarized and then apostilled by the state. It’s crazy stuff I tell you. One simple physical and letter took us two and a half weeks to complete…to no fault of our doctor. The Specialty Hospital had a notary, but her commission expired. Dr. Welter, the sweetheart that he is, took the letters to his bank to accomplish the task for us but their notary was not there. Finally, we realized that our quasi-friend Wendy was a notary. What a blessing. She met us on her lunch with a stamp and a smile. If we had to hire someone to come in, it would’ve cost us $20 plus travel time. We also have to get our psych evals notarized and Wendy said she could help with that also. Thank you, Wendy!!!

Alright, kids…this is just one example of how much we want to bring you home. I can’t wait to tell you the whole story someday. We love you very much.

I can’t sleep. It’s 1:30 a.m and I have a morning appointment for adoption purposes…why can’t I sleep? This psych exam is the last major ‘check mark’ on our list. I lie awake thinking of adoption and fertility and all the people I personally know who are touched by it in some way.

I have a best friend who adopted an infant son and lost him three months later to cancer. She is now considering IVF. I have another best friend who continues to struggle with fertility and doesn’t think adoption will ever be for her no matter the fertility outcome. I have a dear friend who placed her baby for adoption when she was 18, and a sister-in-law who did the same. I have an aunt who has a son adopted from the state. I have a good friend who was adopted at the age of three. I have another sister-in-law who’s first child was conceived miraculously, but who struggled for years to have a second child. I have other friends who tried for a good while to get pregnant and were finally successful in having biological children. I have other aquaintences and friends who have adopted some or all of their children. And the list goes on…….

Anyway, I’m just thinking how we must ‘cast a wide net’ if we expect a desirable outcome in our lives. I surely wouldn’t be preparing to travel to Colombia if I didn’t. The trick is that each of our nets are individually sewn…and only the individual knows how wide she/he is capable of casting.

My friend Jaime Lynne and I have talked about motherhood options at length, sometimes disagreeing (as she’ll lovingly attest to). In one of our discussions I mentioned that I wanted to be a mom, but that IVF wasn’t for me. Her thought–and many others would agree–was that she would do whatever it took to make her family happen….meaning why wouldn’t I endure more fertility treatments and procedures? And yet, in my mind, spending $20,000+, eight weeks in a hotel in Bogota, and notarizing more documents than any one person should be allowed was doing whatever it took and more.

We’ve had many discussions since and we have each grown in wisdom and understanding on this issue and others. My oh so profound point is that we each travel a different path. Some say they couldn’t foster because giving the child back to a potentially unsafe situation would be too heart-wrenching. Some say they couldn’t adopt because it would be too difficult to parent a child that doesn’t look like them. Some say they couldn’t do IUI or IVF because there is not guarantee they will get what they pay for. Some say they could never let their baby go even if the child’s future was potentially brighter in another home.

If you are struggling with an issue, any issue, cast a wide net and see what you catch. Options always abound, we just have to put on our waders and start fishing. Adam and I found four beautiful siblings all because we were willing to get a little wet.

I guess I’m sufficiently tired now. Thanks for listening. My letter to Oprah will have to wait another day.

In reference to my previous post “friendship and pregnancy” let me dispell any rumors. I’ve had a few inquiries as to who it is…and some false guesses. Sorry, but my ‘friend’ will continue in anonymity for as long as she needs. Lucky for me that my circle of friends and family is wide enough that there are many of us with fertilitiy issues (unfortunately). Many of us are trying to conceive and/or adopt. This is the only reason I felt confident in posting this entry and protecting my friend’s privacy at the same time.

I love that my cirlce of friends continues to expand…high school, college, teaching, scrapping, church, Taiwan, Washington, Las Vegas, and Utah friends are all so amazing. Thank you for letting me into your lives. You surely enrich mine. Perhaps, in a couple of months, I’ll be able to make an announcement about my friend and shout it from the mountain top. But for now–you shall all remain in suspense.

One of my closest friends and most trusted confidants announced to me last week that she is expecting. Shock, amazement, joy, wariness, concern, and gratefulness are all thoughts that traveled through my mind. I am grateful for her trust in me. I am concerned for her well-being and for that of the tiny little baby trying to grow. I am overjoyed that I will hopefully be an “aunt” again soon. I am amazed at her calm steady approach to the situation.

As I continue to pass my latest miscarriage, I find it ironic that she is exactly where I was just two short months ago, waiting ‘for the other shoe to drop’ as they say…for her quant levels to stop rising…for her ultrasound to report no visible sac or heartbeat…for her doctor to say ‘just kidding, you’re really not pregnant’. And all the while still secretly hoping that this time will be different!

Like many readers out there (me included), babies have not come easily, or at all, to this family. There has been struggle and strain. There has been confusion on which fertlilty path, if any, to choose. It hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t been fair. And above all, it hasn’t been joyous. At times we feel slighted a bit in our path toward motherhood. As I mentioned in a previous post…the question isn’t “why me?”, but simply just “why?” Why is it that the most basic and fundamental part of womanhood–the ability to bear children–is so difficult for some? Creating life should be joyful. Whether we choose the path of motherhood or not, we are still anatomically made to do so. “Fertility Options” seem counterintuitive in regard to our womanly biology.

I would be a big fat liar if I professed that all my friends’ pregnancies were/are easy for me to deal with. They unequivocally are Not. My joy and excitement for them is equal to my personal sadness. There is one thought that sustains me though…I would not and could not ever ever ever wish my personal experience and grief on anyone else. I want those close to create as much joy for themselves as possible. That joy seeps into my heart and my family. It is a childish and inexperienced person that wishes for others to endure sorrow or pain so they can feel better, or simply not alone, themselves. I am so grateful that I have risen above this very human trait. I am not perfect, but I am perfectly happy for my friend.

I know that she experienced these same feelings of sadness when I found out I was pregnant, and I am forever humbled by her compassion and ability to think of my joy before her pain. And more than that, I am grateful for her sadness and grief on my behalf when I began to miscarry. That is the time when silence from friends and family is the most brutal. They don’t know what to say, or are afraid to intrude. I get that. But my friend wasn’t silent. She was honest and brilliant. She called, texted, and emailed many times to check on me. She reminded me that it’s okay to cry and to say that life isn’t fair. This to me is the mark of true friend.

Friend, I am praying for you. I am hoping for you. I am thinking of you and your baby. Whatever the outcome, this is a reminder that miracles can happen…that life is precious. Please celebrate every second that you carry this child. This pregnancy is a gift. Maybe, just maybe, you will still be pregnant when we bring our little ones home from Colombia. What a triumph that would be. I love you! We really are much ‘more than our fertility.’

Isn’t this home beautiful? This is where we’ve spent a lot of our time preparing for our adoption. It is the home of our social worker who is preparing our homestudy. He lives in Ogden so we’ve become quite familiar with getting around down there. Anyway, we had our last homestudy interview last week. Very Exciting. The rest of our reference letters our on their way, as well as the last of our documentation. Craig should have our homestudy written and ready to send to USCIS (immigration) in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully, we’ll have approval by the end of March. Wahoo!!! Its getting closer. We’ve also received the last of the psychological/social/nutritional information on the children. It’s amazing what their little spirits have been through in their lifetimes. They inspire me to move ahead and continue on this path.

My last adoption post was about my experience at previously stated shipping company. If you notice the comments to that post, you’ll see that both major shipping companies contacted me. Isn’t that amazing? All because of a little venting on my blog. Amazing!!!

For those of you wanting to comment on the adoption blog–remember you can use your same username/login as on arhappenings, BUT you must register first. Our blogs have two separate domain names and are therefore not tied to each other. That’s why you have to register separately on both.

Happy Blogging.