Part of our dance party–video coming soon. :)

Bye bye grandma and grandpa–the kids ask about you every day. They also call Tio Brian “abuelito” because they were so used to you being here.

Wompy’s other nicname is el bano because he is sooooo stinky. And he thinks it’s hilarious. How fitting that he found this toilet in one of the exhibits at Maloka.

I’m not sure why, but this picture makes me very happy when I look at it. I guess it’s because I’ve always been a mother hen with no chicks to push along–and now I have them.

This past Saturday’s excursion was to Maloka–a hands-on science and technology center. It’s touted as the best on the continent. We were impressed, and the kids had a lot of fun. It’s a lot like the Seattle Science Center, which I love. Although there was noone on staff that spoke English (and you know how our Spanish is) we figured out where to go and what to do. The employees were all very nice and helpful.

There is an I-Max on the campus, which featured three or four different shows. We let the kids pick which one, and they chose Vertigo. I am quite sure they didn’t know what was going to happen or they would not have chosen that one. Oh well, Adam and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Since this was the children’s first time in an I-Max theatre (and quite possibly any type of theatre), we soaked up every “uhhh” and “oh” and “what, what” they spoke. It was AWESOME. Once the room went pitch black, I quickly ended up with Daniela on my lap. She was genuinly scared the whole time. The sound was pretty darn loud, and I don’t think she liked feeling like she was actually on the roller-coasters. Adam ended up with little dude on his lap, but he actually sat through the whole thing not seeming too scared.

The big kids were a total riot. They sat in their own seats and pretended to be too big for us. Anyway, Ezzy loved the whole thing–she didn’t seem scared or bothered by it at all. But Daniel was a different story. He pretended to not be scared, but when the scary parts came he was curled up in his seat clinging to his sister. He is such a tender baby at heart, but he has such a hard time showing it–unless he’s in the mood, like all of us. Whatev!!! His loss was the little kids’ gain. :)

All in all, we had a great time. We really wanted to head to Monserrate in the late afternoon, but weather once again did not cooperate. Also, for those coming to Bogota to adopt, we totally recommend this trip. We would have seen another movie at the I-Max, we liked it so much. Our family spent about three hours there. And it is pretty reasonably priced for a family outing.

Hey princess,

…and are you ever. Your siblings often refer to you as iella (they leave out the dan). And since iella, pronounced yella, reminds both your dad and I of Old Yeller, we shortened it one step further to ella. You respond and the kids have picked up on it, but we still mostly call you Daniela. I have to admit though that Ella and Danny are much less confusing than Daniela and Daniel. We will see what you want to be called this week when tio Brian can translate for us. Whenever I went shopping for your clothes I had the feeling that I should buy lots of pink. You love love love it. Like I have said before, you would wear a dress every day if I let you. And why not, right? 

When we were being prepped the day before Presentation Day, I was the most intimidated by your profile. Did you know that? The psychologists made it very clear that you were the one who most needed the love and attention of a mother. Granted, daddy was given the pressure of the three others. But still, you were the only one billed as “complicated.” Are you kidding me? How do you begin to parent complicated? :) Daddy and I laughed about that one for quite awhile. We still shake our heads every day at your bossiness, sassiness, and emotions. But the psychologist also said that you were the most excited out of all of the children about the adoption. You asked many questions and really really wanted to be adopted by us.

Fun facts about you:

1. You love polla y papas (chicken and potatoes, of any variety). Whenever a meal is to your liking you say, “insert person who cooked the meal” and wink while giving a thumbs up and nodding.

2. You love babies. Above is a pic of you and Mimi. She is three and you love her. You also love to carry around her baby brother, Gabriel. You’ll be a good little babysitter one day.

3. You can shake your hips like nobody’s business. And yet, you have no sense of timing. When we were clapping along to a song at the dog show you couldn’t keep the time and rhythm for the life of you. It was hilarious because I knew what a good little dancer you are. Oh well, you are only six, right?

4. You love to help clean the house. You would rather stay home and help with the laundry and dishes than go to the park or other places most days. I will enjoy it while it lasts. You like the individual attention it affords, but you also thrive on positive praise particularly centered around accomplishing house tasks–that is how you were praised and recognized at the orphanage.

5. You can scream louder than any child I have ever met.

6. Most nights you need extra cuddles and snuggles, but sometimes you do not want anyone touching you. The trick is that we still cannot read which one you want, and sometimes I think you do not even know. Hence the complicated comment. I am hoping that Uncle Brian can also help with this one. I just need you to understand in Spanish that if you need extra mommy time at night, you just need to ask. I think that will help a lot.

I just want to give a little shout out today to chocolate cake. Adam and I had some Betty Crocker for breakfast–it was one of those mornings. My tummy is paying for it now, but it was good while it lasted. And we have sunshine, finally. The past week has been utterly gloomy, which I am not complaining about, being a Northwest girl and all. And I will soon have more sunshine than I can handle back in Las Vegas. However, the drenching rain does make it more difficult to enjoy the playground. We might actually do some sightseeing today since Adam leaves us on Wednesday. He really wants to get to Monserrate before leaving.

Uncle Brian flies in from Utah tonight for a week to help out. And Auntie Jena flies in from Las Vegas on Thursday…she’s planning on staying till the end. Grandma and Grandpa Penning made it back to Washington State safe and sound. They are sorely missed by the kids and by us. These kids are so loved…it’s ridiculous.  :) We have our three week anniversary as a family tomorrow. I am so grateful that Adam was able to extend his trip by a week (thanks, Jim). The kids have benefited greatly. The last part of our stay here will be much smoother because of his extra time.

We had a couple of firsts last night. I had the three oldest in the cocina eating. I promised them some soda pop with dinner earlier in the day so they were asking for it. As I was pouring their drinks, Danny asked how to say gaseosa in English. I looked up and they were all three staring at me. I explained to them that it could be soda pop or just soda or just pop. They settled on pop because it sounds like papas, which they are used to saying. I said that’s great (especially since it’s pop in Washington). We have been working on some common food words like juice, milk, and water. They are all starting to understand that they have to accompany the Spanish word with the English word, if they want the item. It is awesome to see their progress–not just in vocabulary, but in the understanding of how things work.

And again, this morning I said, “I know” in Spanish and Danny asked how to say it in English. He and Ezzy went around saying, “I know, I know.” It was really adorable. Adam used, “I don’t care” in Spanish yesterday when they said they were hungry. It was awesome! They all just looked at him, and couldn’t believe he would say that. But when we hear, “tengo hambre” 20 times a day when they already get five meals…it’s really annoying. Of course, I remember always telling my mom I was hungry. I’ve just started saying, “sorry, you’ll have to wait.” They get the picture. :) 

The other first has to do with going home. The three oldest were chatting about grandma and missing her (they had just waved to her over Skype and they were so excited about it). Then their conversation shifted to uncle Brian coming and airplanes and traveling. I was enjoying listening to them talk to each other. Well, I could tell they were talking about Las Vegas, but I wasn’t sure what they were saying. Finally, Danny asked me how many days until we get to go to Las Vegas. I showed them the makeshift calendar I had made, and pointed to the important days. I showed them when daddy was leaving and then when we might leave. I told them maybe 15 days or so. They seemed satisfied, and went on talking about airplanes.

That made my heart sing because I see them taking more interest in going home. It is becoming a little more real to them as they meet family members, and as things get closer. Ezzy wanted to see pictures of her room yesterday. That’s the first time any of them have asked unsolicited. So times like last night make me feel that the children are starting to believe that we are a forever family. They are becoming more and more comfortable with looking to the future with us. It makes me very happy. It also makes me seem like more of a mother rather than a caretaker.  

The coolest part of the first few weeks as a family has been to experience so many “firsts.” Since we missed your first steps and your first words, it is awesome to have that proverbial hole filled with quirky fun events that will never truly be “firsts” to most of us because they are common place events that we take for granted. Here are some examples:

 1. Water….that’s right, water. At 5, 6, 7, and 8 years old you are all thoroughly fascinated with it. Our first two days together as a family was dominated by it. “What do you mean, mom?” Well, first of all, you could not keep your hands out of the sink. The four of you would go back and forth between our two bathrooms for hours just playing in the sinks. We are still not really sure what you were doing, but we knew you were fascinated so we let you play. Juan Pablo and Daniela–you were the biggest culprates. You spent your days filling water bottles and cups to the brim, carrying them to the night stand, and then just watching the water for awhile. After it sat on the nightstand for a bit, you would pour the water into another glass or container and pass it around taking turns drinking and pouring–drinking and pouring. If we could not find you, we knew where to look…yep, the bathroom. HILARIOUS, and annoying! Wompy, you would get absolutely soaked, and then just smile like nothing was wrong. So you!!!

Second of all, you seem to never get enough water even though you drink it constantly. This last week has been much better, and you have all equalized a bit. We let each of you have a water bottle the first few days, and you thought that was the greatest thing in the whole world. Unfortunately, we had to abandon the idea for awhile because you had no impulse control…which made for very large messes in the kitchen and the bathroom, oh and the living room and bedrooms. I think you are getting better since you ask for permission now, and I do not have to hide our water cups anymore. Of course, after three weeks, you all understand that water will always be there and you can have it anytime you want. That helps. Daddy, grandma, and I will always laugh when we look back and think about “the water.”

2. Showers…well, I guess this is also a water topic, but of a different sort. Each of you took cold showers every single day while at the orphanage. That is nearly three years, and most of your little lives. I will never ever forget Ezzy and Daniela’s first shower as my daughters. Grandma Penning came running over to my room at Zuetana and told me to come quick. I asked what was wrong and she said that nothing was wrong, but that the girls were standing in the shower in their undies. By the time we got in there, you were both squirting each other with the cold water while screeching and freezing. After wetting yourselves down, you turned the water off and soaped up. Once your hair and bodies were covered with suds, you quickly turned the water back on and rinsed each other off. Grandma and I realized what was going on so we grabbed two towels and quickly dried your shivering bodies.

The next morning you did the same thing even though we told you that you didn’t have to shower. You all gave us a look of disdain and hopped in anyway. I guess since there was no hot water at Zuetana (except in room 6, apparently) we really didn’t have a choice. But the first time we had hot water in the apartment we introduced you to the idea. Daniela and Wompy tried it the first day and have never looked back. Esmeralda, you were a bit hesitant but by the third day, as you saw the little ones standing under the water and actually enjoying it, you converted. Daniel, well we all know you are the most hesitant in leaving the old behind. But after a week, you gave in. Now everyone loves mucho caliente as you call it. No more mucho frio (sp). I mean, if you want to take a cold shower, be my guest. But I love to watch you come out of your showers after soaking for a long time with happiness and content on your faces.

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This post is turning out to be longer than imagined so I’ll just stick with the water theme for today. There are so many things that surprise me every single day. I knew that the children would come to us with less social intelligence, but it still surprises me when they do or say something that is completely unacceptable as a habit. They just don’t know any better, and they have never had a mom. They are growing and improving every single day. I am so proud of them. And I guess it is no different than my sister telling Spencer for the fifteenth time not to throw his cheerios on the ground or for Valerie to teach Carter not to spit milk on people in the restaurant (that’s my fav so far). Well, everyone is getting up from Siesta so we’ll sign off for now.

I’m not really sure why these are the only pics Adam put in the gallery, but you get the idea. Adam and Grandpa Penning took the three oldest to our friend Ceci’s to go swimming a couple of days ago. Yes, it’s too cold to swim outdoors right now, and yes they did anyway. We’ve had unusual non-stop rain for this time of year the past week or so. It’s gray, cold, and rainy right now, in fact. Luckily, the complex’s pool is heated! There are actually a couple of different kinds of pools, and a sauna room. Both my dad and Adam had a good time playing with the kids.

Ezzy is our go-getter. She’ll try anything once, and she is good at almost everything she tries. She was the only one that would swim to the bottom of the pool and touch it with her daddy. The other two apparently got braver and braver as the afternoon went on, but were still a bit chicken. They did put their faces under though, and weren’t scared. That’s half the battle. Swim lessons are at the top of our activity list upon our return to Las Vegas. So is soccer team sign-ups and school. I think Daniela won’t want to play soccer, but I bet I can get her to do some type of dance or gymnastics class. Oh yeah, and they are all going to take piano. I know I need to ease them into everything, but they also need activity. Ezzy and Daniel are so full of energy, and they need a way to expend it.

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On a side note, Mario–our English tutor– commented today on Juan Pablo. Mario said, “he is a different person.” I asked what he meant, and he said he is much calmer nowadays…more mellow. I told him we are slowly easing and growing into a family. He smiled, and said, “could you tell me your secret because I have a five month old who needs a lot of help.” That totally made my day. (Maybe I’m starting to do something right.) Mario has been working with the kids since before we arrived in Bogota so I value his observations on the children’s moods and behaviors.

Today, three of the four children earned an outing to pick out a soccer ball. They are so excited to go with daddy after siesta. Of course, they’ll have to play in the rain, but it wouldn’t really be soccer without a little weather to challenge them, right?

Welcome to Hogares Club Michin. This is the orphanage where our children were housed for the past three years. Above are pics of Esmeralda and Daniela’s best friends. I brought them little rings to remember the girls by. I also brought all of the children suckers and stickers. This was a difficult excursion for me, especially. We knew that we wanted to tour the facility and grab as much information as we could for the children’s sake, but being there was still highly emotional.

The facility itself is housed in downtown Bogota on a random little street amidst bakeries, apartments and auto-mechanic shops. You would never know it was there unless you were looking for it. That is partly due to the fact that the orphanage is actually comprised of many separate structures all along a few blocks. Esmeralda and Daniela were in the same “house, ” Daniel was in another, and Juan Pablo another. They do not separate the children by gender until age six, so Juan Pablo’s class was made up of boys and girls. The rest were not. There was also a house for teenage girls, and a house for abused women.

When we drove up to the building, my heart was pricked almost instantly. We exited the taxi just as the constant drizzle of rain turned harder. Adam got a few seconds of video before we went in so you should be able to see what I mean when he posts it. I felt like I was stepping into a bad dream or movie or something. Anyway, the first house we came to was not the office, but one of the boy houses. It was sooooo loud and crazy. The caretaker was not there yet, and the boys were running wild. Of course, there was no carpeting, and nothing on the walls so everything echoed. And everything was fairly stark and cold.

Once we found out where to go, we stopped at the girls’ house first. We saw where they ate and where their rooms were. We got pictures and documented everything. We met all the girls’ friends and housemates who smothered us with hugs, kisses and compliments. They were so excited to meet Ezzy and Ella’s mommy, and they kept asking when the girls were coming back to the orphanage. But I have to say that walking outside to the back of the structure broke my heart. It was pure concrete and wires. And that is how they all were. I am thinking the kids won’t think our desert-scape in Las Vegas is half bad. :)

We met with Juan P.’s housemates in the upstairs of the girls’ house. They were there for a class or something, and his house is apparently far away. Anyway, we took a picture of them in their little smocks….absolutely adorable!!!

Daniel’s house was just as tragic, but the boys cracked us up. They also got pencils because I forgot I had them in the backpack until then. There was a picture of Danny on one of the walls, which looked a couple of years old. It was so cute, so we snapped a pic. It is the only thing we have from that long ago. He must have been six, I think. Apparently two of the boys in his house are paper-ready and just waiting for someone to want them. They actually looked like twins–but they are definitely brothers. Wynette, the social worker, says they are her favorite boys in the house. And if I had room, I would take them.

You can see me above passing out things (the children are talking to Daniel, our translator–he’s amazing). And the three additional pictures are of the children’s class/housemates. After we toured all the houses, we went back to the main office to talk with Wynette and Jairo, the psychologist. They are sooooo amazing. Our children were given the best possible support by them–I truly believe that. And although this orphanage is in desperate need of supplies and resources, the staff truly loves the children. They were so warm and loving. And our children speak very highly of their caretakers. We spent a good 45 minutes with Jairo talking about what can be improved for future families, how we have felt the last couple of weeks, and what we can do to help improve the facility.

Also, Wynette said that if there is anyone we know now, or in the future, who would like to adopt, we can contact them and they can deal directly with the family. That way the family can choose what agency, if any, they want to work with. If we adopt from Colombia again, we will probably not use an agency, but deal directly with ICBF through a private Colombian Adoption lawyer. It is much cheaper, and doable now that we know the process. Plus, we all know what has happened with Commonwealth. I’m not ready to go through that again.

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After we finished at Michin, we went for a guided tour of CRAN–they are the facilitating foundation that our agency worked with. Once we were in direct contact with CRAN, things went much smoother. Our adoption is the first joint effort between CRAN and Michin. CRAN’S facility and programs are much better funded. CRAN is actually where we picked the children up the first day, and it is where the children would come for medical treatments and to visit us via the internet.

 Here are a few pics:

You can really tell a difference between the two facilities (especially in the videos–adam is working on them.) Regardless, there are still too many children. And look at the last picture of the sea of semi-sleeping children. These are all of the kindergartners trying to nap after lunch before class. And the pic with me shows the holding room where the kids waited for us the day we picked them up. There are some couches on the other side of the room.

Well, I have not had time to write many of my feelings down over the past two weeks. To be honest, I wanted to wait until my head cleared a bit so I was not writing my experience purely based on emotion. I also know there are readers here and there that have adopted or are thinking about sibling adoption so I want to be as fair and accurate as possible. I am finally caught up with posting pictures, so I’ll give it a go.

We have officially had the children for two weeks now.  And I can say that I have not cried since last Wednesday–so I guess that is a full week now. The entire first week I cried every single night. The first coupe of nights I cried because 1. I couldn’t believe this was real and 2. I hated the thought of being at Zuetana for six weeks. I felt myself starting to panic.

After we moved into the apartment, our children’s behavior began to quickly deteriorate. We knew it was coming, we knew to expect it, and we were as prepared as possible. However, that doesn’t mean that it made dealing with issues any easier. It quite literally took all three of us for three straight days to manage. I am not talking about emotional support–I am talking about physically restraining and managing two or three semi-violent melties at once. And, we are not talking the typical, “Sally, go to room or you will get a spanking,” or “I think you need a timeout,” scenarios. We are talking three days of pure hell, if you will.

I remember one day last week I had Juan P. locked in his bedroom so he would not bite and pinch me while he calmed down. He was kicking on the door and screaming for his sister. At the same time, I had Daniela locked in my bathroom/closet with me while she was melting down and screaming at the tip-top of her lungs for her brother and trying to hit me in the face. Oh yeah, let us not forget that Adam was out front holding Daniel down at the same time because he wanted to watch cartoons instead of obeying our regularly scheduled quiet time. That has been the only time so far that Daniel has tried to physically fight with one of us. Once Adam got Danny quieted down, he came back to rescue me and check on Juan P. who had since fallen asleep on his mattress. Daniela was curled up under our sink sulking so I was able to open the door and lay on my bed for a moment. At that point, I just cried and cried and cried on Adam’s shoulder.

I was crying, as I had been for a few days, because I knew Adam’s and my mom’s time in Bogota was quickly coming to an end. I was/am not capable of holding three children down at once. It is not possible, and that is what scared me. Also, (I promised to always be honest on this blog) I was crying because, although I have never thought of giving the children back, I did have the awful, albeit justified, thought that it is absolutely NOT fair that this is how we had to create our family. Please do not kick me off the adoptions forums–I am just being honest. It is not fair to me or the children that we were not together from the beginning, that they are not flesh of my flesh, that they have had trauma as a part of their tiny existences, and that I do not have the ability to nurture a child from its infancy. Nothing about adoption or fostering (and fertility treatments) is fair–to us or our children. That makes me angry. And after visiting the orphanage yesterday–it makes me even more angry!

That day was the worst day so far. I think I lost two pounds of sweat. :) And it has gotten progressively better since–really! I mean we are not talking horror story here. For the most part our time with the children is super positive. They have begun to bond with each of us. Neither of us has been rejected. And all of the children love to give and receive affection. You have all seen the pictures, and a lot of you have heard or seen the kids on the webcam. They are genuinly happy, special and amazing kids. I don’t know how they came out of the orphanage so very healthy and vibrant. They are all smart, talented, and are able to take pride in a job well done. Daniel and Ezzy thrive on schoolwork–Daniela is getting better every day. And we generally can venture into public without any major mishaps.

I know some of you have been begging for the realities:

Right now, Juan P.’s room has only a mattress–no pillow, blanket, books or anything. He longs for mommy. And when I stay in the room during one of his tantrums, he feeds off it and it gets worse. So I have started explaining why I am leaving the room, and then I do until he calms down. It seems to work better, and is a lot less violent. I hate using the word violent because we are not talking “problem child,” at least I do not think so. Juan P. is the smallest and so he has no memory or understanding of what it is like to actually be a part of a family. It is a huge adjustment for him, and he has gotten so much better this past week. He goes to his room a lot less. Thank heavens for that.

Daniela got all of her belongings including her clothes taken from her two nights ago. She is able to earn back one pair of clothes of my choosing and one personal item every day if she goes to bed without a tantrum. So far it is working–our little princess’s currency was not hard to figure out. She has been so good the past couple of days. And she was perfect for Professor Mario today.

Esmeralda is acting out a little more lately, but still not like the others. And she cracks me up. Yesterday, Adam had to literally drag her home over his shoulders as she kicked and screamed (I tried, but kept dropping her). Maybe 20 minutes after putting her in her room, I went back to check on her, and she had cleaned her entire room–even making Daniela’s bed–because she knew she had done something very wrong by walking away and not listening to me. She is a pleaser through and through.

Daniel has such potential. But he is also learning that being a part of family is not all fun and games. We have rules and expectations. We have consequences, good and bad. We love each other, and we do not hurt each other. And when mom and dad ask for something to be done, it is not a request, we expect that it gets done. (Adam learned “it’s not a request, it’s a command” in Spanish the other day–and he thinks it is hilarious to use it on the kids.) Daniel is adjusting to that. For so long he has been able to run wild, or should I say free, in the orphanage. He is fairly amiable considering his rough start. But he has never had a mother and father that demand respect. He is learning, but it is slow. Daniel’s favorite thing to do is pout. He is such a good pouter. I hope he grows out of soon because he has so much to offer this world.  I see it in his eyes.

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This process has not been more difficult or challenging than expected. I would say that it is right where Adam and I thought it would be. We are in it for the long haul. But sometimes our family and friends catch us right down in the mire. We promise that we are okay, and things are going well. We have not had a single thought of turning back or giving up. 80% of our day is filled with joy and fulfillment. After visiting the orphanage yesterday, I would say that working through behavior issues with my children is an honor and privilege. I want them to grow into this family and LOVE it. I want them to know that everything we have done and continue to do for them is done out of love. We are very very firm. We know we have to be right now. We stick to our schedule. We stick to what we say we will do. We stick to our consequences. And we are very consistent with it. That has been our only saving grace through this storming stage of building our family. We have had the unfortunate pleasure of time to observe other families and situations to see how we want our family to be run. Hopefully, our children will be better for it.

One more note, after doing this for two weeks I believe that not everyone can do this. And I don’t mean that in a “rach, you’re so awesome” kind of way. Before actually being in the thick of it, I truly believed that all the well-meaning people who told me they could not do it really did not believe what they were saying. I mean, we are all put into circumstances that stretch us. And sometimes just because we do not WANT to do something doesn’t mean we CAN’T do something. But now I know that really truly…not just anyone can take on three, four, or five children at once. The last two weeks has taken two very in-tune, very devoted, very patient partners. (And one full-time grandma to keep the house running) And we are only at the beginning of this familial journey. If I had a different personality, or if I had a different husband, or if I was not 100% committed to this forever, I would already be back in Las Vegas enjoying the emptiness of my home.

But we are still here! Yesterday, the children’s psychologist at the orphanage asked if we had any thought at all of sending the children, or even two of them, back. Adam answered for both of us and said, “No. Not seriously, anyway.” :) Although it has been challenging and very hard work, when the children are all laying on the bed snuggled up in our arms before bed, there is no question that this is what we want…even if there are moments when I question what we have done!

We know that the work we are doing is far more important than the comfort of the childless life we have left behind. We continue to be grateful for the opportunity.

YO-YOS

JACKS

AND MONKEY BARS!!!

What a great Sunday afternoon with grandpa in the park.

The Pig Show

Stubborn Girl

Pinwheels