I would say that lying and whining have been the biggest hurdles we have come across the past month or two–across the board, with all four children. As the kids emerged into a new phase with us–I would say around Thanksgiving–instead of having major meltdowns and screaming tantrums, we started having more incidences of whining, pouting, and lying when they didn’t get their way.

On the one hand, it is a happy problem to have. It means that their guards are down, that they feel comfortable, and that they don’t think we are going to send them back if they act up. We get lots of kisses and loves now. And their is rare a tantrum that warrants a spanking or grounding these days. Yay, we are doing our job!!!

On the other hand, it is completely annoying. I mean we are talking really really babyish type behaviors like coloring on the carpet with a crayon, writing on the walls, spreading a tube of toothpaste on the bed. Stuff like that. Those who know me know that behavior like that is not going to get very far for very long in this house. :)

Here is one of Juan P’s consequences for lying about who did what:

Okay, our backyard doesn’t normally look like that, people!!! There really was a windstorm the day before, and we thought what better way to get it picked up than as a consequence. (haha–I love having kids around the house)

The video is just one small, cute example of something Adam and I firmly believe, which is that just because our kids are adopted doesn’t mean we should treat them differently. I know what the books and “experts” say. And there are a couple of areas in which I agree that we must be mindful and sensitive of our words and actions.

But for the most part, an unacceptable behavior must have a firm consequence attached. I refuse to let our children destroy property, whether it is ours or someone else’s. I refuse to let them scream obscenities at me just because they didn’t have a perfect start in life. I refuse to cater and collapse to their every whim just because I feel badly about their previous lot in life. It is not fair or loving to be anything less than firm and disciplined. Choices have consequences, and it our job to teach our children the ramifications that follow both good and bad choices.

As I just wrote to a couple of friends this morning, the past five months have taught me one overarching lesson, which is: the power that sits in unconditional love coupled with firm discipline, is unmatched. I have always believe in this truth, but now that I see it in action, my testimony of it is strenghthened and increased. There is no greater way to lead and to teach.

I’ve meant to post our language progress for awhile now. It is going really well. Some mornings I wake up and notice that the children still speak Spanish and it really frustrates me. But most days I don’t even notice the Spanish chatter. New phrases are heard almost every day now. To give those of you adopting some frame of reference–after only three and a half months together…

Daniel (8)–is reading site words and beginning readers at school. He has almost every letter and sound down. We are making a big push with flashcards and “The Letter Factory” by LeapFrog to push him through. He knows the most English out of the four, and is anxious to use it at every opportunity. He is even counting by twos and tens in English now. Of course, a lot of this is due to his amazing teacher. We just had his parent/teacher conference this morning and she is so happy with his progress. His math is coming along nicely and he is learning to count money and do harder subtraction facts–all in English. His favorite phrases are “Oh, wow.” “Come on, come on.” “No homework today, mommy.” and “May I have permission, mommy.”

Ezzy–Miss smarty pants came up behind me in the car a few days ago and said, “Ma, what are you doing?” I responded, “driving.” And then I realized what had just happened. I turned back to her and asked her to repeat the question, and she did in plain English. She then turned to Wompy and asked him the same thing. He responded, “nada.” Priceless!!! Her favorite phrases are, “Ooooh, that’s disgusting.” (I taught her that one) “Stop whining.” and “Today, no school.” I am anxious to see how much she catches up to Danny as he goes on track break next week for six weeks. Ezzy and Nikki have been in school for three weeks less than Danny, which at this point is a lifetime.

Oh, and on a non-language update…She started giving unsolicited kisses to her dad and I a few weeks ago. I love her surprise affection these days. I’ll be laying on the couch snuggled up with her and will feel a gentle peck on my arm or my cheek. This is huge. Ezzy is starting to feel more and more secure with physical affection. As her guard has fallen though, we’ve noticed an increase in whining and pouting. That’s okay. I’ll take it. Those are behaviors I can easily redirect. I can’t force her to give me free kisses and hugs.

Nikki–Yes, she still insists. I don’t think there will be any going back for her on her name. Although, when she is in trouble, you better believe she is Maria Daniela. That’s when she really knows she’s in trouble. :) As for English, she is the slowest of the four to pick it up. It is mostly because she is stubborn–just like learning to ride the bikes. Nikki understands most of what I tell her. She also does really well for her teacher who is super structured and super strict–YES! But she hates to do anything that involves brain power. She would much rather sit with her legs crossed, purse over her lap, and lips puckered in front of a mirror. None of this implies that she is stupid. When she decides to do something–she does it. But there is no forcing or bribing her into it.

All of this being said, she seems to know most of her letters. She is getting better at number recognition in English. She also has the heaviest Spanish accent out of all the children. She does say lots of English words–but she doesn’t attempt phrases as much as the other three do. She loves the words “stinky” “video games” (meaning the Wii) and “I love it.” It will come, just in her own time.

 Juan P.–Our little parrot. He repeats everything. Lately, “Oh, man.” is his favorite. He also loves to say “See, look.” “Love you, too.” “It’s okay, mommy, it’s okay.” “Bless you.” (which he just realized doesn’t apply to himself when he sneezes :) and “Airplane.” Juan P.’s English really is better than his Spanish. That is not to say that he knows more English, just that people can understand his English. His pronunciation is nearly perfect. We are also learning on number recognition in English this month. We’ll see how he is doing at Christmas. Just today, Wompy started repeating, “Knock it off.” and “No baby talk.” I’m sure you can imagine why he picked those up.

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Other words they know:

Please. Thank you. Excuse me. You’re Welcome.–these were the first they learned.

Huh? Zip it. Be quiet. Super. Good. Bad. Maybe.

Today. Tomorrow. Breakfast. Lunch. Snack. Fruit.–they actually know quite a few food names, I won’t bore you with all of them.

Church. Prayer. Jesus.

Well, that about wraps it up. I’m sure there are many words they say that I don’t even realize. It is to the point where a phrase or sentence has to be said for me to perk my ears up and take notice. Adam and I are both very proud of their progress as a whole. We just instituted an “English only” rule, which applies to music and movies. At first we let them watch new movies in Spanish, if the option was available. We really believe that it helped them transition more smoothly. They at least had something linguistically familiar around. But we are too the point where they don’t need it anymore. I think I will be hindering their progress, if I let it continue. And just a couple of weeks ago, the kids starting asking for English music in the car. They don’t even ask for Spanish music anymore. We can tell they are anxious to become fluent.

Having each other to rely on hasn’t had much of an effect one way or the other. I think the pros and cons have equaled each other out. On the one hand, they have each other to talk to at home so they don’t speak as much English. But on the other hand, if it was just a single child they would have been more silent to begin with, and been a bit more intimidated. Now the kids use all the English words they know when speaking to each other. Their Spanglish is one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard. :)

Aside from immunizations and learning the ropes of their new home, the kids also got to know family and friends their first week in Las Vegas. We went swimming at the Brummett’s home. The kids had a total blast, and now they call Valerie, Tia La Pisina. Our first Sunday went well. We wondered how the kids would react to church in English. They were really good, and every Sunday gets easier and easier. Going to school was an experience–but you’ve already been informed of the lice trauma we encountered. The few pics below that are not of the pool date are of our attempt to register the children at school. Hopefully, you will find as much joy and hilarity as we do when we view the video below. It sums up the crazy wonderful discovery of childhood that now gratefully fills our home. (I promise, even if you are kidless…it is really funny!)

And this concludes our journey to Bogota and back. You can continue to peek into our everyday lives as a family at: www.ourlittlemcfamily.com However, I plan to continue posting adoption and fertility related posts here. There is so much to say. So much to learn. So much to share. And I am grateful for the open forum this blog has created for me to do so with friends, family and others. I know that our journey as a family has just begun. I know my fertility woes are not over. I am grateful that I can share all of it here. Thanks for being a part of our lives!!!

We pretty much had non-stop visitors our first week. Yeah, we know what all the books and “experts” say about bonding and attachment and over-stimulating, but we feel that the love and support of our friends and family has only helped the children feel more secure. Plus, it has given us opportunities to more quickly teach who is really in charge. Our entire support system has been phenomenal in directing the children back to Adam and I as the authority figures. No one has tried to take on the nurturer or disciplinary roles. Thank you so much friends and family for helping us on this journey. Also, living life as usual around here has given us the opportunity to teach the children about hugging and touching people that aren’t mom and dad. It is slow, but boundaries are starting to emerge in their minds. I can see them being formed every day.

Our children are thriving, and our support system has helped in the process. I know this is not the way for everyone, but it is the way for us. We’ve been swimming, camping, out to eat, over to friends’ and family’s homes, shopping, to the movies, and hiking this past month. Instead of shaping our lives around these new creatures, we have been able to insert them into our lives–and they love it. They love the activity. They love the love that they feel. They love the opportunities. They love school. And they are so grateful for everything we give them. This is the positive part of the adoption. The kids are truly happy.

One of the first things we did was have Rob and Jaime come over to go through the entire house with the kids, like we did with the apartment in Bogota. This helped tremendously. We had already trained the children to remove their shoes etc… so a lot of what we went over was familiar. But there were also things like the DISHWASHER and CLOTHES DRYER and CRAFT AREA and CHORES that had to be explained. Robert did a fantastic job:

After the explaining was over the kids played with Rob and Jaime for hours…legos, lincoln logs, bracelet making. You name it, they wanted to play with it. We knew that the first week would be one of discovery in the house. Things have calmed down since, but we really did not mind the mess of the first week. It was joyful!!! And hey, the kids now know how to load the dishwasher. :) That is a bonus in my book.

You do notice the two princesses bonding above, right?

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We also had to immunize the children the first full day we were in Las Vegas. Oh man, what a welcome they received–six shots total for each child. But it allowed them to register for school the next week. We are actually due for their follow-up Hep shots. I don’t think I will tell them where we are going. Maybe they have forgotten what the building looks like.

At least the clinic was doing immunizations on that particular Saturday. Otherwise, I would not have had Adam’s help. He held each child down for the shots while I rallied the waiting troops in the other room. The screams should have broken my heart, but instead it cracked me up because each child came out of the screaming ordeal saying that it didn’t hurt that much. So I ask myself, why did I have to endure an hour of blood curdling screams in the waiting area? The anticipation was too much for them I think. And they even got some of the other anxious kids in the room crying prematurely. Adam and I could not stop laughing as we walked out. I am pretty sure we will not be getting any “parents of the year” award any time soon. At least we took them to Red Robin for a post-immunization celebration complete with chocolate milkshakes. Man, these kids have it so good now. All I ever got was a “good job, rach” or maybe a $0.50 cone from McDonalds. :)

Well, after getting a good night’s sleep in LA (not really) we headed home to Las Vegas. However, what McCracken trip would be complete without a few stops? :) First, we stopped for lunch in LA with my good friend, Marisa, and her three blond beauties….Lainey, Malia, and Lyndie. Lunch was awesome. We ate Mexican–for which I am very grateful. It was soooooo yummy! Marisa drove down from Ventura just to see us. It was so nice to catch up with my dear friend. Marisa and Justin had three under three for a time, and they have been 120% supportive of our journey. Marisa also speaks fluent Spanish so the kids had fun speaking to her. She and the girls made us a CD of Spanish songs for the drive home. The kids ask to listen to it every time we get in the car. They love it, Marisa!!! We are looking forward to a trip to the beach where we can actually spend some quality time with their family.

Marisa and her girls were too kind in packing goodie bags for each of the children for the drive. They each got a new blanket (which are now their “travel blankets”), some snacks and drinks, and a writing tablet with pen and colors. The children were in heaven the whole way home. Here are a few pics of the event:

I seem to only steal small glimpses of time with my sweet friends that I made almost EIGHT years ago while teaching in Taiwan. And even though eight years, along with many milestones, have passed they remain some of my most trusted friends. Thank goodness for blogs and email, right? Marisa is one of those friends. And I am so grateful that we still occasionally find the time to steal in-person glimpses together.

After lunch with Marisa, we dropped Tia Jena off at the hotel so that she could reunite with her family and spend some time relaxing at the beach. Heaven knows she needed it after a week in Bogota with the four crazy kids we decided to bring back with us. :) You might ask why I added pictures of Nicole and Juan P. in their car seats. Well, you can imagine the surprise when they found out those seats were just for them. We thought that perhaps they wouldn’t want to be buckled in and confined, but the opposite ended up happening. The two older children pouted because they didn’t get seats. We ended up getting them booster seats anyway because they are still not tall enough for the seat-belts. I am so glad we documented their very first car-seat experience. And they continue to love their seats. They don’t fight the seat-belt rule, and they always make sure I am buckled in, as well.

Last, but not least, we stopped in Victorville to see great-grandparents Chapman. They had root beer floats and stuffed animals awaiting the munchkins. Great-grandpa played the organ for us, and we took a few pictures. Thanks for letting us stop for a few minutes to rest and see you. The kids LOVED it.

We finally arrived in Las Vegas around 8:00 p.m. just as darkness was emerging and the lights of the city illuminated it. We woke the children up, and they started chanting * familia mccracken las vegas, familia mccracken las vegas* They stayed awake the next twenty minutes as we made our way to our home. Here is the video I captured as we approached the last mile toward our home:


We have more video and lots of pictures of the party that awaited the kids, but we are waiting for them from our friends. As soon as we have it, I will post….but you get the idea. WE ARE FINALLY HOME!!!

Alright, already. :) Yes, we are still here. And yes, it is killing me that I have not been able to blog the past two weeks. There is so much to say, and so much to show. Adam’s laptop is now fixed, and he was finally able to load pictures to our server a couple of days ago. So totally annoying.

I think we have kicked the lice–dare I say it. There are no longer mounds of laundry. In fact, I think there is currently no dirty laundry, including bedding. Small Miracles. The girls are so great about letting me pick through their hair. According to them, every Saturday was lice day at the orphanage. Monica would comb through each nina’s hair. We think it was more of a maintenance program though. I spent three hours in Ezzy’s head two nights ago. And that was after a week of shampooing, baby oiling, and nit-picking. She had dead nits that had completing grown out with her hair. But now, her neck isn’t as dry and itchy. Her hair is healthy and shiny. And I only found 10 nits yesterday morning. Nicole’s head was completely nit-free.

The girls are still not allowed to sit on the couches (the floor is so much easier to vacuum.) And all four of the children have their own pillow and blanket down in the family room. They each have a spot on the floor, and they are completely awesome at keeping track of each other. None of them want to deal with lice anymore. The boys would much rather keep their heads shaved than deal with the disgusting little creatures.

I sacked up all of the play clothes, stuffed animals, and hair bands. The kids know why they are gone, and they have been great about the whole thing. We are giving it another week before we let them sit on the furniture. It’s probably overkill, but the laundry, vacuuming, and shampooing about killed me! :)

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Enough about lice. Each child is adjusting nicely. Adam and I are also adjusting. In fact, this past week has been cake in terms of behavior. We have the usual kid issues around here like whining about who’s turn it is and pouting over being told “no.” But the marathon tantrum and testing has calmed to a minimum. Well, at least with three of the four.

Wompy is having an extremely hard time taming his belligerence. We know he is finding his place in the family, and getting used to parents who tell him what to do, and when to do it. He spent all day yesterday, and all day Sunday, in his room. Last night he said that he would rather be back at the orphanage. And yet, he inched closer and closer to daddy when he was allowed out of his room to watch his sibling play Mario Kart. He started stroking Adam’s arm and laid on him. This confirms to Adam and I that he is testing testing testing. He had 25 three and four year olds to play with at Michin, and only one adult to watch over him. He had free reign.

The problem is that he is sooooo good most of the time. He never does anything intentionally destructive. The marathon tantrums only come when one of us has told him not to do something, and he decides to test and defy us. Most of the time, he is so cute we can hardly stand it. Tia Jaime Lynne told him to try and do one cute thing a day…”Wompy, now I want you to try and be cute. I know it will be very hard for you, but just try. Try to do one cute thing each day.” And she asks him every time she sees him if he’s done his cute thing for the day. It’s really “cute!” And he always cleans his messes up and pitches in when asked.

We have some leads on a couple of Spanish speaking couselors. That is our first priority next week. Adam and I both feel that we are doing everything we possibly can, but the little one needs some extra help. And to Wompy’s credit, he is heads and tails above where he was when we picked him up. He listens to us 90% of the time. He has stopped constantly touching things he shouldn’t. He doesn’t talk like a baby anymore. And he tries really hard to act like a five year old. We are making tremendous strides with him, but we also recognize that we need some extra help.

We are off for a campout tonight. I have some interesting adoption/fertility things to share in the coming days. Plus, I have many many pictures and video to share. I promise it is coming. Please check back in a couple of days. I may just surprise you.

By the way…I am loving every minute of my time home with the kids.

So we are home from Colombia, and we have so much to share with everyone. But it will have to wait another day or two. Why? Oh, yeah because the children’s first day of school, yesterday, found them home with mommy not even 15 minutes after leaving the school!!! LICE! Yuck! I have mounds of laundry downstairs and four sleeping children who are covered in baby oil to suffocate the little buggers. The thing is is that grandma, daddy, mommy, and others brushed and bathed the children for weeks and never found a thing. And actually, Esmeralda is the only one who actually had anything in her hair when I did the treatments–poor baby. Nevertheless, I had to treat all four, which I finished at about 11:00 p.m. Thankfully, Adam helped get the beds made and vacuumed the floor for me.

The children can go back to school tomorrow. So far, Adam and I have no signs. I had Adam buzz the boys’ heads, which made it so much easier for me. And they are absolutely breathtaking. I know I could not make babies that beautiful. Adam almost buzzed his as well, but then he chickened out. Luckily, my neighbor and church friend stopped over last night. She made me feel much better by saying that her little girl has had it for a month…they are still battling it even after cutting her hair and multiple treatments.

Anyway, we have all our pictures downloaded. We are just in the process of re-sizing and uploading everything to our gallery. We have homecoming video and tons of photos to show off. The children should be able to go back to school on Thursday although the girls start track break on Monday–totally lame. At least Danny will get to go until Thanksgiving. He pouted all day about not being able to stay at school. He already adores his teacher!