What a treat! Jaime Lynne, Jena, and Val all came to help me pack, sort, and put away the children’s clothing before our trip. They also helped organize my craft/school room. My dear friends donated their time and talents to me and my children without me having to ask. I treasure my friendship with each of them. I am grateful that I have not only a great mother-in-law and sisters-in-law in Las Vegas, but also great friends. I know everyone in Las Vegas is just as excited as Adam and I to get our four munchkins home. And we can’t thank our friends and family enough for helping us move in and organize before we traveled. We could not have done it without you. Oh yeah, note the big red suitcases below. :)

Can anyone tell me why the San Jose airport has Free Wi-Fi, but LAX does not? Whatever the reason (and I have a few thoughts on the matter), I am grateful that Costa Rica offers the service. That means I can write this post en route to Bogota. I did have the usual pre-travel jitters, yesterday. It almost felt like adoption butterflies, but I quickly realized it was just anxiety taking hold as I was running out of time to finish my last minute preps. Regardless, all went well and we are almost there. We have one 2 hour flight left and we will touch down in Bogota.

Flying into Costa Rica is amazing. The mountain are spectacular. Although, I am sure the Andes will simply blow me away. The green jungle blankets the landscape. We decided it is very much like Guatemala. And what was Adam’s first response when we began our descent…”I bet there are some really great canyons down there.” *insert canyoneering wife’s roll of the eyes* I am sure he is right though. I know this trip is all about the adoption, but Adam and I haven’t been out of the States together since our honeymoon four years ago. This is a real treat for us…and I can cross South America off of my “seven continent quest.” Jaime Lynne says it is sweet justice that I am the one that finally gets to be out of the country for weeks. But then we decided that with four kids in tow, it’s not really justice–just sweet. :)

Okay, we have pictures that I will post from the hotel, which will be accompanied by a tragically funny luggage story…yes, the Rachel travel stories have already begun. I am so in my element here. I am sure that the children will become real to me in a few days, but for now it is absolutely surreal. Because of this, I’ve decided to focus on the awesome parts of traveling that are so dear to my heart. Almost time to board for our last leg. We love everyone so much. Thanks for all of the last minute support. We have received your phone messages and emails, and are grateful (even though I haven’t had much time to respond the past couple of days.)

My sincerest apologies to my readers for the downer I was yesterday. Although I still agree with everything I wrote, I probably should have waited to write it. As my close friends can attest to, I’ve been surprisingly patient, submissive, and calm the past couple month. I suppose now that we have a travel date, that mantel of protection is leaving me. Regardless, I am totally fine, and there are blue skies ahead.

I will probably be in big fat trouble for posting while I am in a bad mood! (Sorry, honey)

We put in our frequent flier request last night for our flight to Bogota. We found out today that our request was not granted, nor will it be. It is complicated and unfair, but there is nothing we can do about it. Regardless of this shocking and daunting news, we want to give a HUGE thanks to Adam’s friends at work who were willing to donate their miles for our family.

So flights now add an automatic $6000 to our already tapped out adoption account. Why $6000? Because we aren’t bringing home an infant. We have to buy six round trip adult fare tickets (Yeah, I know, the kids are only going one way. My fellow travel snobs know that it is almost always cheaper to buy round-trip internationally, even if you don’t need it.) It is $200/child cheaper to buy a round trip ticket than a one-way. They don’t put that in the adoption addendum. I’M JUST SAYING….

Okay, the day gets worse! We gathered for our last conference call with our caseworker, Raul, before traveling. Most of the hour-long conversation was positive and full of helpful information. I know that Raul loves the children of Colombia, and he tries his best to help things run smoothly. We are very grateful for that. What is the problem then, you ask? Well, remaining financial obligations are always a standard part of this conversation. This is what we learned:

1. We are financially responsible for transportation to/from all adoption related meetings and events. What? Are you kidding me? And again, I know that Raul is just the messenger. But please, I think that for $11,000 transportation should be included just as a translator is.

2. We now have a $1500 cash obligation for attorney fees to CRAN. This is the very first I have heard of this. Apparently, there was a $900 obligation all along that was itemized in our contract. But it just says “estimated attorney fees.” Okay, no one ever mentioned what that was or when it would be paid. But now the price has gone up, in the last two weeks, to $1500. What???

3. Oh yeah, and there is a $200 “document processing fee.” What I gathered from our phone conference is that that fee is for copies that are made of all the paperwork. $200 isn’t the end of the world, but we were just told today that we had to times that by 4…because it is per child. Just so we’re clear–I have to pay $800 to have copies made of my children’s adoption paperwork!!! Shouldn’t that also be included as part of our in-country fees that we paid?

Do you think I could offer to pack my printer and bring my own paper? Perhaps I should suggest it.

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I think those are the main shockers for the day. At least I hope so. Poor Adam! He caught me crying on the phone with Raul, on the phone with TACA airlines, on the phone with him, and at lunch. There wasn’t even any good reason. I know the money will work itself out somehow–maybe that money tree we planted will miraculously start producing by Wednesday. Or perhaps some long lost rich uncle will call with a gift on the other end. Maybe we overpaid our taxes one year, and we’ll shortly find out. :) In all seriousness though, I’ve been meaning to post our adoption expenses. A few people have asked what it entails…I’ll work on that so that those of you considering adoption, or are in the early stages, can catch a “real” glimpse of how much it costs. In our experience, it is decidedly more expensive than the spreadsheet that was provided to us in the beginning.

Okay, so the money part sucks! But what makes me sad and weepy is the abrupt fashion in which I have found all this out. It is the idea that even with how close we are to hugging our children–I am still not in control. After all of the money we have paid, paperwork we have filled out, and time we have spent being lectured on how to parent, I still feel like a little girl being told what to do.

Adoption is not the same as pregnancy….not by a long shot. Adoption is not covered by insurance. It is not accepted as a norm. It costs tens of thousands of dollars. It requires rigor, conviction, and motivation to keep the ball rolling. And it isn’t something that can physically and spontaneously occur. We methodically and carefully chose to welcome adoption into our lives.  

Please, please, please beloved friends and family, please separate these two cherished events for us. Comparing and contrasting the two makes me feel very sad, and sometimes angry. I do not know if I can put why into words right now. It probably wouldn’t make any sense. I can tell you that thoughts of pregnancy bring back emotionally charged and helpless feelings. Our children need me to be focused on their joy, not the sadness of failed pregnancies. For now, we ask that when we are in Colombia, and when we come home, that this adoption is celebrated as an adoption–with all its 10,000 special and distinct attributes.

Adam and I are completely humbled by the many acts of service–big and small–performed on our behalf. Our children are so lucky–and not because of us, but because of YOU! They have no idea how much goodness and love is about to envelope them.

Okay, Now that I’m crying again I think it is time to sign off. :) I know, I know…tomorrow is always better than today. Maybe I’ll go to bed early then.

What a day! We saw our children again. They were just as excited and happy as the first time (Adam’s working on the video we recorded). Also, we received our passports back from the Colombian Consulate with our travel visas attached. Could this day have gotten any better? Uh, yeah!

Official Travel Date–August Fifth. Well, that is actually the date we take “possession” of our children. We meet with CRAN officials at our hotel on Monday, the fourth, for an interview. We plan to fly in a few days before so we can be settled and rested. I hope to leave on Thursday the 31st since it is a full day of travel. 

We’re only talking a matter of a week and a half before we board a plane. How surreal is that? I am feeling myself slowly kicking into mission mode today. I am so grateful that we have another week to finish putting everything together here at the house.  

And we get one more visit with the kids next Monday. Apparently, they love to swim and want us to play soccer with them when we get to Bogota. Their favorite food is salad. Yeah, I said salad. Man, are they in for a rude awakening when eating with all their cousins. Daniel and Esmeralda are reading. The other two just started to learn. And they LOVED the photo albums we sent them. They went crazy when we asked if they like them. Man, I these kids are amazing. We’ll post the video and more picture (thanks, J) soon.

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our children are real! What an amazing feeling. And, by the way, they are totally 5, 6, 7, and 8. They are normal, regular, high-energy, excitable KIDS. I know everyone is dying for the details. I’ll do my best…

The conference started an hour late due to technical difficulties. Finally, they brought the kids in and sat them down at the conference table. The adoption facilitator warned us that the children were very excited…and he was right. Not only were they excited to see us, but they were baffled by the technology. They couldn’t believe we were speaking and seeing each other through the screen. That was really cool. Of course, it resulted in the children trying to steal the microphone from each other so they could be the one to talk to us. Totally Cute!

And, there really wasn’t any ackwardness. The kids came in waving and trying to talk to us. Our hats are off to Colombia’s adoption preparation…the kids seem adjusted and prepared–as much as they can be anyway. Each child started by telling us their name (like we don’t know who they are, right?) and showing us a drawing. Daniel went first. When he held up his drawing I totally lost it. I’m his!!! His drawing had Adam and I on each side with four children drawn inbetween. Above the drawing he had written “I love you mother and father.” I’m pretty sure I cried the rest of the conference.

Juan Pablo’s drawing was of a house and happy sun and clouds with “I love you mother.” Maria Daniela drew a giant heart. I’m not sure where Esmeralda’s drawing was. Of course, she was on the end and kept getting pushed out of the conversation. It was so cute because she tried reaching over the other children for the microphone so she could have her moment.

We talked about their favorite colors, and soccer, and pets! Daniel told papi that he is doing well in school now, and gave him a thumbs up! Juan Pablo is a little stinker. He’s so little and full of energy. He totally picks on his sisters even though he’s smaller than they are. It was quite endearing to watch him in action. Maria Daniela wasn’t shy like we thought she might be. She was right in there with the rest of the kids–raising her hand and getting excited when we asked her questions. Esmeralda is as adorable as the picture. You can tell she’s the mother of the bunch. She hangs back, but doesn’t let the others push her around.

I posted all the pictures! The pics that look like a white screen are the children’s drawings. They are each different though. I think if you zoom in, you’ll be able to see them better. Adam is working on purchasing a program that will allow us to record Monday’s session. That’s right–we get to see them again on Monday. If you have a question you want answered, send it to me and I’ll do my best.

 Thanks everyone for the support yesterday–it meant so much!

Well, Adam and I are about to talk to our kids for the first time. Yep, in two short hours. I wish I could say I am a ball of emotions or completely beside myself. In all honesty, I feel nothing. I know I still hold on to thoughts of self-preservation that have guarded me through the past four years. I know I need to let go and feel. But it is difficult. I am still quite sure that at any moment our adoption will fall out from under us. And that is what keeps me protecting my heart.

I do cry sometimes when I walk into their bedrooms or think about the pain that has been a part of their lives. I have cried over the overwhelming generosity and support of friends and family. But I do not think I have cried for joy yet–you know that tender feeling that comes with the thought “I am finally a mother.” I think that will happen when I am in Colombia, but probably not until the judge has signed the papers. Or maybe it will happen once we have boarded the plane for Las Vegas. I’m not sure when, but I know it will happen–someday!

At the behest of a sweet friend, we will set up cameras to capture the moment this afternoon. Perhaps, you will even be able to catch a glimpse of their faces–not really sure how it will work. We will update as much as we can on the situation this evening.

Grandma Penning, papi, and I worked really hard on your rooms Monday and Tuesday. We had a blast and accomplished a lot. Papi and I were laughing and working together as we assembled Daniel and Juan Pablo’s beds. It felt good. We can’t wait to fill your rooms with your laughter. We still need to hang things on the walls and organize your closets, but we are mostly ready for you.

As papi was putting the bunk-beds together he said, “Rach, we’re like putting bunk-beds together.” I said, “I know, how do you feel about that?” He responded, “I’m scared, but mostly excited.” That sums up how we feel. We are scare, but excited. Pretty soon, the four of you will descend on our house and fill it with messes, tantrums, and quarrels. But you will also fill it with laughter, learning, and love. We are ready and we are waiting for you.

And the best news of the week, we found out that we get to meet you all through a video conference next Thursday. Finally! How cool is that? We actually get three conferences with you before we fly to Bogota. Apparently CRAN has instituted this new policy for families with older children, and we couldn’t be happier.

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Well, we are off for a quick trip to Arizona. I’m sure I’ll have more updates the beginning of next week. Moving has been fairly smooth and painless….only because we have amazing friends and family who continue to support us as we wait on pins and needles for a travel date. We are now being told the beginning of August. We can only hope that will come to fruition and quickly.

(I just blog lifted the title from a dear friend.)

We said that when we had news, you would have news. I’m not sure if this is even newsworthy, but here is the latest: it looks like Adam and I will be graced with the dreaded Las Vegas summer heat for a couple more months, well at least six weeks of it. We heard from our caseworker and there have been a couple of changes to the approval process in Colombia, at least with regard to the particular institution our children are currently housed in.

Commonwealth’s in-country representative said that they (meaning the government approving committee) hope our referral letter will be sent in two weeks….so we are planning on three!!! Our travel date will be two to four weeks after we receive the letter. Adam and I both “plan” on leaving for Bogota in six weeks or so. I’m sure that will change for better or worse, but at least we know what the hold up is with our letter. That makes all the difference for us!!!

For those wondering if we are on our way to Colombia–we are not….yet! The official referral that was promised has still not arrived. We are not concerned whether or not we will go–it is more a question of when. Hopefully, we will be there within the month. Regardless, we continue to prepare. I bought Juan Pablo some monkey pajamas, which are completely adorable. As soon as “the letter” is in hand and a flight is arranged we will let everyone know. For now, we are hanging out with family and friends in Las Vegas as we await our travel plans!

Am I frustrated? Of course.

Am I sad? A little.

Am I afraid? Not at all!

I’m mostly just WAITING…