baby hope….in more than one way

8dpt= 53

14dpt=536

Our numbers are more than doubling… Doc thinks it’s one. So do I.

Ultrasound= 8 March (Friday)…at seven weeks.

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In other news. We’re meeting a sibling group of three little girls today. They are legally free for adoption, and have kind of fallen into our laps. We know there is one more adoption out there for us. We haven’t been sure when or how that would happen, but we are kind of excited (and overwhelmed) that this might be it. The oldest just turned three and she has twin baby sisters who are just over a year. They are beautiful.

The question: is it the right time and the right placement for us? We have said “no” many times over the past year for lots of reasons. So I am confident we can make the right decision this time too.

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and the number is…

22.

Higher than our first beta last time. That’s good! We’ll see what Thursday’s number holds.

Possibly two babies…but probably just one good one. :)

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here we go

off to the clinic.

embryos three and four better be the ones….cause my butt is already protruding with nasty oil welts. Yes, I am permanently attached this go around to the heating pad. It is quite comical. I hate progesterone! :)

I am anxious to hear how the thaw went, and how many baby blasts are left.

Wish us luck!!

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bursting…

with excitement!

I am not nervous this go around. Just anxious and excited. I guess that is because I know what to expect. And if we didn’t have any hope, we wouldn’t be going forward.

So I am just excited. What will be will be. We will take it as it comes. Hoping two little embryos (blasts) survive the thaw and implant nicely!!!!!!

In other news, we have decided to not pursue the sibling group of five. I cannot disclose all of the reasons at this point, but soon!! :)

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round two, good to go

lining: 10.5

estrodial bumped to .4 ml.

starting PIO shots and antibiotic today.

February 6th is a go! Blastocysts thawed in the morning…transfered in the afternoon. Will thaw till we have two viable.

Everything looks great!!!

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a date

February 6th

*crossed fingers and toes.

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a second chance

Tomorrow it begins!

Estrogen. Dexamethosone. Progesterone. Shots and pills.

Thawed embryos. Bed rest. Blood draws. And lots of prayers.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

And then…maybe a baby.

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how many did you say?

So…there is a group of five children that need a home. Yes, they are legally free for adoption. Yes, that would make our total kid count 12. Yes, we will still pursue having a baby. (Hello, frozen embryos!) And…Yes, we are completely crazy for considering it! *insert blog title for confirmation*

The funny thing is, I am totally at peace with whatever we decide. It is kind of like I have been preparing for this my whole life…very difficult to explain. It is not the placement we envisioned we would take at this stage of our lives. There are two teenage boys involved. I have nothing against teens. I love them. And they could turn out to be the best thing we have ever done. I have no doubt of that. It is just that I am not sure I am totally ready to make the jump in parenting. And I am not saying we are going to do it. But we are on the placement team’s short list and I am anxious to hear if we get to meet them.

The short of it–there is always room for one more (or two, or ten) around here. Period! :)

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no news is…

not good news in the fertility world. :(

We did get pregnant. The transfer worked. We saw a heartbeat at seven weeks. We saw a another heartbeat, and growing baby, at 8.5 weeks. We went in at 10 weeks for a final ultrasound before we were to be sent off to the regular OB. No heartbeat. The baby had died a few days before. d&c performed the next day. That was three weeks ago.

We started with two sacs. One stopped progressing and was passed around eight weeks. It did not harm the other baby so we are still stumped as to the cause of this miscarriage. Everything looked great. We were measuring on target. Strong heartbeat. Religious about my meds and hormones. In fact, the doctor’s face dropped at the ultrasound…completely perplexed. He had brought us into the big room with the nice monitor so he could play around a bit and enjoy our last visit. Needless to say, he was just as shocked as we were. Doctor Fisch suggested a d&c so that we could test the fetus for abnormalities. I went with his recommendation, and am glad I did. I have always passed pregnancies naturally, but this time was different, and I have no regrets about taking care of it immediately.

We will get the results of the fetal testing at our consult next week. We’ll see where we go from here. If the tests come back normal, we’re not sure what changes will be made, but we’ll at least know if that was the cause. For now, I take great comfort in knowing we actually had a growing baby in a sac in the right spot with all its parts. That is something that we haven’t had before. The loss stings more because of this, for sure. But we are hopeful that we are one step closer to having a baby.

Our hope and prayer now is that our frozen embryos are chromosomally normal and viable. That at least one of the four of them survives the thaw and makes it to term. We’ll probably cycle in December or January. But for now we are in limbo until my own female cycle decides it wants to join the party.

I’m not sure how many more losses I can take this year. It’s a GOOD thing 2o12 is drawing to a close! :)

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the final step…egg transfer

August 31st 2012….the day we had two little embryos implanted!

Unlike egg retrieval, this procedure is relatively short and painless. Of course, I do use the word relative because I did have an ice cold speculum (yes, they ice it first) inserted so that a catheter could be inserted up into my uterus. That is how the doctor guides the embryos into their home. There is no sedation, although I was given a Valuum about 30 minutes before the procedure. I did not feel any effects from it, but then again, maybe it would have been more painful if I hadn’t had anything. I don’t care to find out. :)

Adam was able to be in the room for this particular procedure. And we were able to view what was going on inside on the ultrasound machine. Holding Adam’s hand was helpful since I am a pansy, and I was scared! I, the patient, am on a table just like for a routine pelvic exam. The doctor performs the actual procedure, which is quite amazing. It takes skill and finesse, of the highest level, to guide the little guys up inside and burrow them in a really good spot without damaging the little guys or getting them stuck somewhere. Go Dr. Fisch!

After the doctor had me prepped and ready, he opened the door to the embryology lab, which is so cool, and the embryologist brought the tube forward that has our potential babies inside. He, the embryologist, verifies that I am who I am and that my name is on the tube. (kind of creepy thinking there have been monumental mix-ups in the past)

The doctor then guides each embryo up the tiny catheter line. My second embryo got stuck in the tube, which is common. So the embryologist took the tube back in the lab to verify and reload it. Dr. Fisch said it was a “sticky one,” which could be good. :) The second attempt was successful, and both embryos were buried inside of the lining. We also ended up with four more viable embryos that we chose to freeze (five and six day blasts).

The whole procedure took about 20 minutes. Quick and easy compared to egg retrieval. The coolest part of the procedure was the end when Dr. Fisch drew a little heart around the embryos on the ultrasound. So sweet. He also came to the side of my bed, rubbed my belly, and said he was putting the rest in the hands of the man upstairs. Love that! Oh, and he also wears a charm around his neck of Kokopelli (fertility deity), which he rubbed for me. And lastly, he hugged both of us. I could not have asked for better care on all accounts. No matter the outcome, we know we were in the right place at the right time with the right people caring for us. No regrets!!!!

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