Tag Archives: loss

the weight of the wait

I am currently waiting. Waiting to miscarry our last hope for another baby. These are the worst kinds of wait. I have experienced them before. The wait for something horrible to happen that one knows is coming, over which you … Continue reading

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seven to eleven to maybe eight

Okay, first thing’s first, we have made it to nine weeks of pregnancy. Yay! We had our final ultrasound before our big move, yesterday. Doctor Fisch couldn’t be more pleased with our progress. HB of 177, measuring in range, yolk … Continue reading

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deep waters

I’ve been thinking for a couple of months now how to put our foster experiences into words; how to do them justice. We have had such wonderful dealings with caseworkers and children and birth parents since we started a year … Continue reading

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elephant in the room

I am a happy mom, which means a great emotional current has awoken inside of my body these past two years. I am visibly more emotional because my children’s happiness brings me insane amounts of joy. I am still getting … Continue reading

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rejection

We were “rejected” this past November. Adam and I had started the required adoption classes, but had not yet completed our Homestudy when a friend called with a potential placement–we like to call it our quasi-referral. Among other things, I … Continue reading

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the proverbial they

“We decided to go with someone else.” is the dreaded phrase adoptive moms fear to hear (something bio moms never worry about). Adoptive Parent Translations: ‘You are not good enough for my baby.’ ‘You have too many children already, you don’t … Continue reading

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a year of healing

It’s November. Those closest to me know what that means. I think it is getting easier. I really do. I was a bit weepy the first week of the month, but then nothing. I don’t think about our first lost … Continue reading

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Friendship and Pregnancy

One of my closest friends and most trusted confidants announced to me last week that she is expecting. Shock, amazement, joy, wariness, concern, and gratefulness are all thoughts that traveled through my mind. I am grateful for her trust in … Continue reading

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Something Amazing!!!

Yesterday, Adam and I attended an “adoption education” lecture in Layton, which meant a 1.5 hour drive each way plus 3 hours of lecture time. Needless to say, it was a full day of sitting. I knew I would be … Continue reading

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The Good, and the Bad!

We lost our fourth baby this week. That’s the short of it. Part of me is numb, and part of me aches. I told Adam yesterday to give me a few days of ice cream and doing nothing, and I … Continue reading

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