Tag Archives: loss

when you choose to send a child back. . .

Posted on May 6, 2019 by rachel

A mom (we’ll call her Natalie) contacted me a few months back. This almost-adoptive mom and I had never spoken before. When I answered the phone, she was sobbing. It took a few moments to understand who was calling and … Continue reading →

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the weight of the wait

Posted on December 27, 2014 by adam

I am currently waiting. Waiting to miscarry our last hope for another baby. These are the worst kinds of wait. I have experienced them before. The wait for something horrible to happen that one knows is coming, over which you … Continue reading →

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seven to eleven to maybe eight

Posted on March 22, 2013 by rachel

Okay, first thing’s first, we have made it to nine weeks of pregnancy. Yay! We had our final ultrasound before our big move, yesterday. Doctor Fisch couldn’t be more pleased with our progress. HB of 177, measuring in range, yolk … Continue reading →

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deep waters

Posted on June 10, 2012 by rachel

I’ve been thinking for a couple of months now how to put our foster experiences into words; how to do them justice. We have had such wonderful dealings with caseworkers and children and birth parents since we started a year … Continue reading →

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elephant in the room

Posted on May 10, 2010 by rachel

I am a happy mom, which means a great emotional current has awoken inside of my body these past two years. I am visibly more emotional because my children’s happiness brings me insane amounts of joy. I am still getting … Continue reading →

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rejection

Posted on May 7, 2010 by rachel

We were “rejected” this past November. Adam and I had started the required adoption classes, but had not yet completed our Homestudy when a friend called with a potential placement–we like to call it our quasi-referral. Among other things, I … Continue reading →

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the proverbial they

Posted on May 5, 2010 by rachel

“We decided to go with someone else.” is the dreaded phrase adoptive moms fear to hear (something bio moms never worry about). Adoptive Parent Translations: ‘You are not good enough for my baby.’ ‘You have too many children already, you don’t … Continue reading →

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a year of healing

Posted on November 18, 2009 by rachel

It’s November. Those closest to me know what that means. I think it is getting easier. I really do. I was a bit weepy the first week of the month, but then nothing. I don’t think about our first lost … Continue reading →

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Friendship and Pregnancy

Posted on February 11, 2008 by rachel

One of my closest friends and most trusted confidants announced to me last week that she is expecting. Shock, amazement, joy, wariness, concern, and gratefulness are all thoughts that traveled through my mind. I am grateful for her trust in … Continue reading →

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Something Amazing!!!

Posted on January 13, 2008 by rachel

Yesterday, Adam and I attended an “adoption education” lecture in Layton, which meant a 1.5 hour drive each way plus 3 hours of lecture time. Needless to say, it was a full day of sitting. I knew I would be … Continue reading →

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